I think it finally became real that I have graduated from college when I received my diploma in the mail. It’s still in the package, I haven’t opened it. I don’t really plan to. Where will it go? In my office? (Sarcasm-I don’t have an office). Aside from sporadic reminders of my financial instability, I think I am much better off where I am today than a year ago.
Last year is when I reached my breaking point, and could no longer deal with working 40 hours per week in a mind-numbing, dead end, unappreciated retail job. It was my 8th year of working retail, and 6th year working full time and going to college full time. Once that was over…I began to shed years of resentment towards my father, because I blamed him for having to work and go to college **because my sister only worked during the summers while in college** Yea, it’s not too practical to graduate in four years when you work full time and have huge fucking hurtles and crises along the way.
I feel frustrated, because I have always thought by 25 years old I would have accomplished more, but then I realize how fortunate I am to have experienced the last 9 months. What I don’t have based on [conventional standards] that is insane because nothing about my life is conventional, nor has it ever.
I wouldn’t trade what I am doing now for anything. I know eventually everything will settle into place…because it always has. It’s funny-on the brink of my 25th birthday I am experiencing things that I should have in college-but, again…who is to really determine ‘when things’ are supposed to happen. What’s important to me-aside from my hair…are Family, Friends and Happiness. Family and Friends are amazing…Happiness. We define our emotional being in terms of ‘happy’ or ‘sad’, when really most of the time we are somewhere in the middle. Happiness is temporary-and realizing that has forced me to seek happiness in ‘the now’.
I’m not really sure what this blog is about…but I can say that I am STOKED that The Deftones released a new single, “Rocket Skates”