Marmots are truly charming creatures that are cute and have interesting habits.

15 03 2010

I think it finally became real that I have graduated from college when I received my diploma in the mail.  It’s still in the package, I haven’t opened it.  I don’t really plan to.  Where will it go?  In my office?  (Sarcasm-I don’t have an office).  Aside from sporadic reminders of my financial instability, I think I am much better off where I am today than a year ago.

Last year is when I reached my breaking point, and could no longer deal with working 40 hours per week in a mind-numbing, dead end, unappreciated retail job.  It was my 8th year of working retail, and 6th year working full time and going to college full time.  Once that was over…I began to shed years of resentment towards my father, because I blamed him for having to work and go to college **because my sister only worked during the summers while in college**  Yea, it’s not too practical to graduate in four years when you work full time and have huge fucking hurtles and crises along the way.

I feel frustrated, because I have always thought by 25 years old I would have accomplished more, but then I realize how fortunate I am to have experienced the last 9 months.  What I don’t have based on [conventional standards] that is insane because nothing about my life is conventional, nor has it ever.

I wouldn’t trade what I am doing now for anything.  I know eventually everything will settle into place…because it always has.  It’s funny-on the brink of my 25th birthday I am experiencing things that I should have in college-but, again…who is to really determine ‘when things’ are supposed to happen.  What’s important to me-aside from my hair…are Family, Friends and Happiness.  Family and Friends are amazing…Happiness. We define our emotional being in terms of ‘happy’ or ‘sad’, when really most of the time we are somewhere in the middle.  Happiness is temporary-and realizing that has forced me to seek happiness in ‘the now’.

I’m not really sure what this blog is about…but I can say that I am STOKED that The Deftones released a new single, “Rocket Skates”


Laughing Skull Comedy Festival 2010

8 03 2010

Anyone who attended/performed/participated in The Laughing Skull Comedy Festival this weekend knows something huge is happening in Atlanta.  The caliber of talent involved with the festival is immeasurable and damn near impossible to explain.

5 Reasons the Festival was a HIT:

1.  Marshall Chiles’ heart is in the right place-and he is passionate about doing what is best for Atlanta Comedy…which is a hell of a lot more than most can say about other Atlanta Club Owners.

2.  The caliber of talent that participated in the festival was astronomically high.

3.  Each laugh made a HUGE difference in someones life.  Half of the proceeds were donated to Lenny’s House: a place to get healthy mentally, physically and emotionally while learning life skills to be better prepared for reentry into a sober world. We were absolutely honored to have Lenny’s daughter, Kitty Bruce attend the festival-and she is amazingly kind!

4.  Margaret Cho closed the shows on Friday and Saturday…which is always a treat!

5.  Because people are already discussing how big this will be next year!

Missed the Festival?  Sucks for you-but thanks to the exceptional photography of Lauren Grundhoefer you can see behind the scenes, the kick ball game, performers and everything in between here:

Erin Patterson rocked the mini-van this weekend, and deserves mad props for shuttling everyone around

Jessica Mozes-Holy shit without her, Marshall and I would have been…much less capable of multi-tasking

The Staff at The Vortex, who kick ass anyway-but for real kicked ass this weekend

Thanks to everyone who supported the festival-YOU helped put The Atlanta Comedy scene out there for all to see!

I got sunburned playing kick ball-



Cesarean Section, Meet Melba.

4 03 2010

Last night was affirmation of why I love Cesarean Section scars, especially when adorned on a jiggling belly with dimps.  Dimps is short for dimples-ya dig?

The Laughing Skull Comedy Festival officially kicked off yesterday, and holy marmoset it was premium.  I will blog more lata-gotta get in Melba…the Mini Van that E Patts is driving all of comedians to the Funny Farm in.  Don’t be jealous.

Wanna Cyber?

3 03 2010

Snoop Bloggy Blog was taken.  Does that make me feel anger?  Perhaps, yes.  My name is Trey.  This is me:


Just kitten.  This is obviously not me.  Don’t be so gullible, it’s not attractive.

I’m 24.  My birthday is less than one month away.  April 2nd.  The Pope died on my 20th Birthday.  I don’t hold it against him…not anymore.  I did not want to burden my soul with anger.  I graduated college this past December, and I have a full-time job…looking for a full-time job.  I worked in retail for 8 years and would most definitely kill myself if I ever had to return.  Retail is like an elephant graveyard, it’s full of expired pachyderm bones and shit no one can use.  It’s not that I consider myself ‘too good’ to work in retail, I just know it would lead to a severe substance abuse problem–which could lead to a starring role on Intervention, so I’ll keep my options open.

I was hoping that by the age of 25 I would at least be hosting the MTV video music awards (that is if I was 25 during 1994-1997) so I am actually fortunate that didn’t work out.  The secret to get on MTV is to get knocked up and talk with a seriously thick southern accent with a ghetto twang, just enough so they will have to provide viewers with captions to understand what your retarded hick ass is trying to say.

This is Erin.  She premium-grade lolcat.

She will hate me for posting this, but it captures her in her natural state, so peaceful…and texting.

Below is Corey and Celia.

Corey and Celia never kiss me like that

We all live together…I feel like there is a lot of sexual tension between the three of us.  I’m fairly certain when his Garfield goes into her Lily Allen…they are simultaneously thinking of me.

I’m not violent, in fact…I’ve never been in a fight, but when I drive in Atlanta I constantly think of the most painful way I could kill people who fail to grasp the concept of not driving like a marmot’s taint.  Rats.  Which reminds me of this lazy slut who totally had a stake out in the gym parking lot last night….waiting for a  suitable spot to become available.  She was like a lioness…hiding, lurking and ready to pounce. I instantly hated her.  First of all, you are not in a wheel chair, nor are you pregnant.  In fact, you are at the gym, right?  Next time do everyone else a favor and park your Frito-covered lazy ass a few blocks away and walk to the gym.  Not only would she have cut her time at the gym in half…she’d increase her chances of being hit by a car.

I really could continue.  But, til next time…